Masuklah

Langitnya begitu gelap,
Maka matikan musik,
dan biarkan rintik hujan bersenandung,

Maaf, ban motorku bocor,
Masuklah.




 
Jogja 18 Nov 12 05.23 PM

Sekali saja

Dan aku masih ingin menamparmu, 
Satu kali saja,
Satu di pipi kanan,
Satu di pipi kiri, 
Di depan mereka,
Sekali saja,
  Atau kamu lebih memilih mati?

01.14 AM
10 Nov '12 Jogja

Tak harus

Mengantungi senja dan membawanya pulang,

Suasananya tak pernah ada sebelumnya,
dan aku tak dipaksa menelannya,
ada yang tak sama,
mungkin inilah beda,
dan aku yang membuatnya,
tapi sekantung tanya ini tak bisa kulumat habis,
ah, meraih senja dan membawanya pulang tak harus dari jalan :
yang sama.


01.09 AM
10 Nov '12 Jogja 

Deal with ...

Ada waktu dimana kita harus berdamai dengan kenyataan. Tentang apa yang tak putih dan bukan juga hitam. Tentang sebuah lingkaran yang garisnya terputus.
Dan kali ini, malam memaksa hatiku untuk berdiam;
menitah akalku untuk beku;
mengunci kaki untuk langkahku.
Ketika inilah, bodoh dan cerdas tak beda.

Jogja, 2 Nov 12

730 Hari Yang Lalu

Sebuah kotak coklat tergeletak di depan pintu kamar kosku. Bungkusnya tak begitu rapi. Terlihat perekatnya tak merekat dengan baik. Ada lipatan-lipatan kecil yang tak seharusnya terlihat. Tak begitu berat. Sedikit kukocok kotaknya, pelan, berharap tak ada yang posisi yang berubah, apapun itu. Oia, kertas pembungkusnya adalah kertas bermotif batik Jawa. Formal sekali. Tak ada kesan manis.

Aku ambil, kutaro diatas meja. Mulai bertanya, ini untukku? Atau…

Pasti punyaku. Langsung kubuka perlahan sembari menebak apa isinya. Tak dibungkus oleh lembar-lembar Koran lagi, hanya batik itu dan satu kertas bertuliskan kurang lebih “Rasul suka memberi hadiah pada sahabatnya, kejutan-kejutan kecil”
Dia. Si pengirim itu. Kubuka. Senang . Dan butir-butir cahaya berhamburan dari dalamnya. Indah. Peri-peri menari dari dalam kotak itu. Tarian kebahagiaan untukku darimu. Kita menari nanti.

Nanti yang tak bisa dijawab lagi, tak untuk dimimpi.

Harus terapus.
Aku benci pendampingmu.
Aku benci caramu.

Jogjakarta, 18 Oct 12

Ujungkan Rabb,

Ketika waktuku tiba,

Maka tambatkan aku penuh,

Dan saat penantian Engkau ujungkan,

Tautkan aku pada cinta karenaMu,


9 Mei 2012 11.51 PM

Ah, kejamnya

Terkadang kagum akan tumbuh menjadi cinta yang tujuan klimaksnya adalah ingin memiliki. Bagaimanapun cinta terkadang butuh untuk diungkapkan karena kadar orang merasakan cinta datang memang berbeda. Tapi, dunia berkata bahwa perempuan itu tugasnya menunggu cinta datang. Cemoohanlah yang ada ketika ia menjadi sang kesatria cinta, menyatakannya. Ah, sebenarnya siapa yang menciptakan stereotype yang kejam seperti itu. Karena akhirnya hanya dua, hilang atau memiliki. Tapi cinta memang harus diungkapkan.

Masih seperti dulu : aku mengagumimu dan ingin menjadi milikmu ~ hanya sebuah tulisan karena aku perempuan terikat sekitar walau aku tak ingin.


11 Des 11 10.07 PM

no reason

I have no reasons to live when I have no dreams to reach,
Then give me a reason to live when they take my dream away,

Somebody there, just take me away.


9 Des 11 11.57 PM

I do promise, Daddy.

나 :Daddy..
아빠 :..
나 : Daddy.. Daddy, are you there?
아빠 : Yes, my dearest, is everything ok? Honey, I'll listen. Just say everything you want to share. I am ..
나 : Dad, I don't know what I am feeling now, but ...
아빠 : It's ok baby. How's your day lately?
나 : Hmmm... I am not sure everything's going well. Dad, please come.
아빠 : You can see me, can't you? I am here, near you.
나 : Daddy, please. I need you so come now, please.
아빠 : How should I explain you that I am next to you, darl.
나 : You're kidding, Dad. I can't lay my body in your shoulder.
아빠 : Just close your eyes then think - imagine that I am next to you.
나 : Ok, fine. I'll try.
나 : Dady, I can't. Where are you? Oh no, I am fool.
아빠 : Honey, honey, please calm down. Take a breathe, relax, and slowly close your eyes and try once more.
나 : Hiks ~ Daddy, please!
아빠 : Don't cry my little girl. Try! Come on!
나 : (calm down, take a breathe, relax, fine) Hmm ~ Daddy? Wow! Daddy! What a place! It's cool! Lot of flowers here. Daddy, see! Stars are twinkling at us. Dad, they are shinning.
아빠 : Yes. See, you are with me now.
나 : Daddy, hug me.
아빠 : I do. I do miss you my dearest.
나 : Daddy, I never see a wonderful place like this and you never told me.
아빠 : Now, you can see, right? Yes, it's wonderful and being more wonderful when I am with you.
나 : Daddy, I do miss you. I love you.
아빠 : Here is, hot chocolate for you.
나 : I do believe that you are the only one who understand me.
아빠 : Dear, don't you know that lot of people outside love you like what I do.
나 : I am not sure, Dad.
아빠 : Hey, taste and drink it. And it's mine.
나 : I know that: black tea with a teaspoon of sugar.
아빠 : Absolutely, right. See, dear! They are cute, aren't they?
나 : Are they your pet, Dad?
아빠 : Yes, Carey and James, a baby rabbit.
나 : Wow! Cool name.
아빠 : Sure.
나 : Daddy, I never see star comes alone. They always go along with their friend or family I think. See, they are always happy.
아빠 : And you must be like a star, always happy.
나 : How come Daddy? You often leave me alone and seldom come. I feel lonely, Dad. You must know that.
아빠 : My little princess, don't cry, please.
나 : Daddy, May I live with you here?
아빠 : Dear, I heard that you wanna be a minister of women and child protection. You need to go to the next step.
나 : I know but I think I can't. I can't go there alone.
아빠 : Listen! Women and children there need you, help them.
나 : Daddy, I want but I can't. I have no ...
아빠 : But God's watching you.
나 : I know. I remember that but see, God lets my tears fall down.
아빠 : Because God knows that you're stronger than others.
나 : I wish.
아빠 : How bout Korea?
나 : I am still fighting for that. Hopefully I can reach it but you know, they don't support me fully. Again, I am ...
아빠 : No!
나 : And if God gives me another choice. I wanna stay here, in a beautiful place with you, Daddy. Here, with Carey and James.
아빠 : It's not you.
나 : Oh No, even my Daddy don't know me completely.
아빠 : Yes, because my daughter is strong. She never give up. She struggles for what she dream even though it's hard.
나 : Daddy.. Sorry.
아빠 : My dearest, face your day confidently. Believe that you can.
나 : Daddy, I wanna stay here, with you.
아빠 : Cheer up honey. I am here, in your heart.
나 : No, Daddy. Daddy! Daddy, please. Don't leave me. Daddy, I wanna spend my life with you, Daddy. Daddy, I am ordinary girl who need a father in my life. Daddy...Please! They have a father, I wanna be like them, have a father. Daddy..
아빠 : ---
나 : God, I love my Daddy. I wont wake up. I need my Daddy.

>> I do really miss my Daddy. God pick him up sixteen years ago. My Daddy lives there and I am here. Daddy, come to my dream, please. I do miss you. Love you, Daddy. Wait me there, in heaven. We gonna live there together. I do promise. Daddy ..

25 Nov 11 11.18 PM

Seperti itu

Aku ingin menapakinya lagi,
seperti waktu itu.
Malam menguak sisi romantismu yang tak pernah kukira,
: kamu ada.
Rindu,
: seperti itulah.
Ingin mengambilnya kembali,
dan rasa.

18 Nov 11 11.16 PM