I do promise, Daddy.

나 :Daddy..
아빠 :..
나 : Daddy.. Daddy, are you there?
아빠 : Yes, my dearest, is everything ok? Honey, I'll listen. Just say everything you want to share. I am ..
나 : Dad, I don't know what I am feeling now, but ...
아빠 : It's ok baby. How's your day lately?
나 : Hmmm... I am not sure everything's going well. Dad, please come.
아빠 : You can see me, can't you? I am here, near you.
나 : Daddy, please. I need you so come now, please.
아빠 : How should I explain you that I am next to you, darl.
나 : You're kidding, Dad. I can't lay my body in your shoulder.
아빠 : Just close your eyes then think - imagine that I am next to you.
나 : Ok, fine. I'll try.
나 : Dady, I can't. Where are you? Oh no, I am fool.
아빠 : Honey, honey, please calm down. Take a breathe, relax, and slowly close your eyes and try once more.
나 : Hiks ~ Daddy, please!
아빠 : Don't cry my little girl. Try! Come on!
나 : (calm down, take a breathe, relax, fine) Hmm ~ Daddy? Wow! Daddy! What a place! It's cool! Lot of flowers here. Daddy, see! Stars are twinkling at us. Dad, they are shinning.
아빠 : Yes. See, you are with me now.
나 : Daddy, hug me.
아빠 : I do. I do miss you my dearest.
나 : Daddy, I never see a wonderful place like this and you never told me.
아빠 : Now, you can see, right? Yes, it's wonderful and being more wonderful when I am with you.
나 : Daddy, I do miss you. I love you.
아빠 : Here is, hot chocolate for you.
나 : I do believe that you are the only one who understand me.
아빠 : Dear, don't you know that lot of people outside love you like what I do.
나 : I am not sure, Dad.
아빠 : Hey, taste and drink it. And it's mine.
나 : I know that: black tea with a teaspoon of sugar.
아빠 : Absolutely, right. See, dear! They are cute, aren't they?
나 : Are they your pet, Dad?
아빠 : Yes, Carey and James, a baby rabbit.
나 : Wow! Cool name.
아빠 : Sure.
나 : Daddy, I never see star comes alone. They always go along with their friend or family I think. See, they are always happy.
아빠 : And you must be like a star, always happy.
나 : How come Daddy? You often leave me alone and seldom come. I feel lonely, Dad. You must know that.
아빠 : My little princess, don't cry, please.
나 : Daddy, May I live with you here?
아빠 : Dear, I heard that you wanna be a minister of women and child protection. You need to go to the next step.
나 : I know but I think I can't. I can't go there alone.
아빠 : Listen! Women and children there need you, help them.
나 : Daddy, I want but I can't. I have no ...
아빠 : But God's watching you.
나 : I know. I remember that but see, God lets my tears fall down.
아빠 : Because God knows that you're stronger than others.
나 : I wish.
아빠 : How bout Korea?
나 : I am still fighting for that. Hopefully I can reach it but you know, they don't support me fully. Again, I am ...
아빠 : No!
나 : And if God gives me another choice. I wanna stay here, in a beautiful place with you, Daddy. Here, with Carey and James.
아빠 : It's not you.
나 : Oh No, even my Daddy don't know me completely.
아빠 : Yes, because my daughter is strong. She never give up. She struggles for what she dream even though it's hard.
나 : Daddy.. Sorry.
아빠 : My dearest, face your day confidently. Believe that you can.
나 : Daddy, I wanna stay here, with you.
아빠 : Cheer up honey. I am here, in your heart.
나 : No, Daddy. Daddy! Daddy, please. Don't leave me. Daddy, I wanna spend my life with you, Daddy. Daddy, I am ordinary girl who need a father in my life. Daddy...Please! They have a father, I wanna be like them, have a father. Daddy..
아빠 : ---
나 : God, I love my Daddy. I wont wake up. I need my Daddy.

>> I do really miss my Daddy. God pick him up sixteen years ago. My Daddy lives there and I am here. Daddy, come to my dream, please. I do miss you. Love you, Daddy. Wait me there, in heaven. We gonna live there together. I do promise. Daddy ..

25 Nov 11 11.18 PM

Seperti itu

Aku ingin menapakinya lagi,
seperti waktu itu.
Malam menguak sisi romantismu yang tak pernah kukira,
: kamu ada.
Rindu,
: seperti itulah.
Ingin mengambilnya kembali,
dan rasa.

18 Nov 11 11.16 PM

Jawablah!

Hidup itu penuh pilihan, katanya sambil mengaduk coffee latte yang sudah teraduk. Layaknya satu nomor ujian matematika pilihan ganda, yang dibutuhkan adalah ketelitian dan aku sanggup menghitungnya tanpa kesalahan sedikit pun.
Tak lama ia memegang cangkirnya dan meneguk, satu tegukan saja. Kemudian berdiri di ujung balkon itu. Aku menunggu, apalagi yang akan ia ucapkan.
Tapi hidup bukan matematik, emosinya sedikit menanjak. Lalu ketika hidup memaksa kita untuk memilih, rumus mana yang harus kugunakan?
Aku semakin tak paham dengan tuturnya.
Baiklah, begini : aku bacakan satu soal tentang hidup dan kamu harus menjawabnya : Usiamu tak lagi remaja, manakah yang kamu pilih :

A. Menikah dengan dia yang penuh cinta tapi ia tak ingin kau tinggal sedetik pun,
B. Melanjutkan study di negeri sebrang dengan full scholarship, hanya berlaku tahun ini.

Hi, jangan melamun, jawablah! Hidup ini harus memilih bukan?


18 Nov 11 11.04 PM

Tak akan lagi rapuh

Nyatanya aku terlalu rapuh, Tuhan
Maka tenggelamkan aku di mimpi yang lain
Maka izinkan aku membakar cerita lama
Maka izinkan aku pergi jauh ke belahan bumiMu yang lain
Maka tenangkan aku disana
Maka aku tak akan rapuh lagi.


1 Nov 11 01.42 AM

Aku sama

Ingin merindu tapi aku tak punya hati untuk dirindu.
Ingin mengucap satu nama tapi aku tak mampu menangis lagi.
Ingin membenci, tapi aku tahu aku sama, sama-sama umatMu.

1 Nov 11 01.26 AM

TakdirNya tak untuk diragu

Apabila hidup memang pilihan, aku ingin hidup memberiku banyak pilihan.
Apabila waktu dapat diputar, aku ingin cerita laluku menuntun ke arah ini.
Apabila aku adalah dia, jangan dekati aku, karena ini sebuah permainan hidup.
Ah, tak ada apabila dalam hidup. Ketika kau sebut apabila, ketika itulah kau seperti meragukan takdirNya.

1 Nov 11 01.24 AM

Ketika, dekap aku

Ketika awan tak lagi meneduhkan,

Ketika mentari tak lagi menghangatkan,

Maka biarkan aku tertidur dan menyerahkan semua pada malam.



Ketika angin tak lagi berhembus,

Ketika langit tak lagi biru,

Maka aku seharusnya rela berlabuh pada mentari yang segera tenggelam.



Ketika hati tak lagi hidup,

Dan ketika kamu tak lagi disini,

Maka Engkau, Tuhanku Yang Penuh Cinta, dekaplah aku lebih erat lagi.




(1 Nov 11) 01.20 AM